In a Lifetime
by bookworm437341
Summary: Jason wasn't sure why he was there, or why he felt it was the only place he could go. He knew he was in trouble. A lot of trouble. He knew it was his fault. The last thing he wanted to do was drag more people down with him. Yet here he was, with nowhere else to turn, staring at Dick Grayson's front door. Feeling like he had nowhere else to go. JayDick fluff
1. Chapter 1

**All characters belong to their respective companies**

* * *

Jason was lonely.

After being out of the country for the last two weeks (on a mission that Dick and Bruce would NOT approve of), he was hoping to spend some much needed quality time with his spouse.

Dick unfortunately had other plans. Plans he'd made while Jason had been gone.

He figured it was payback for going on said mission (the only reason he'd gone was because he owed this guy a favor), Dick had known Jason would be gone. It wasn't much of a stretch to consider he'd figured out what Jason had been up to. He was far too smart for his own good in Jason's opinion.

These plans Dick had made, they were going to keep him busy, all day. Which would leave Jason home alone in their apartment, all day.

He thought over calling Tim, seeing what the kid was up to, before remembering that he was doing some off the books mission for Batman Inc. Damian was part of the reason Dick was gone, and Bruce… he and Bruce didn't really talk anymore. They hadn't talked in a while.

Anyone and everyone he could've seen today was either busy or too far away. But he really only wanted to see Dick.

Jason had taken to wandering the apartment aimlessly, like a sims character. For the last hour he'd occupied his time by sitting upside down on the couch.

He groaned. "I'm bored." He announced, out loud to the empty apartment.

He turned himself upright, bouncing up off the couch, and onto the balls of his feet.

"What to do while my husband is gone?" He asked, continuing to voice his thoughts to the nonexistent audience.

He pivoted on his heels, basically spinning around in his living room.

He glanced over at the clock on the stove, sighing inwardly.

Dick had left around nine in the morning, and it was now just barley eleven-thirty. He had told Jason he wouldn't be back until late. After patrol, kind of late. Three in the morning, kind of late.

"Freaking Damian," Jason continued mumbling, "why'd you need him tonight?!"

Jason scanned his kitchen. "What obscure thing can I make myself for lunch?"

He began picking through his pantry. "Aha! Obscure cup of noodles, score."

He hadn't really been a fan of instant noodles until spending a year with Tim. The kid's eating habits were about as regular as his sleeping schedule. Tim didn't ever eat a hot meal unless it was prepared for him. He ate when he was hungry, and he would go for whatever was easy and could be made in the shortest amount of time. Instant noodles qualified.

Dick was fairly similar. But contrary to popular belief, he actually knew how to cook and (Jason will admit) he wasn't bad at it. He just didn't do it very often.

He sat at the island, eating in silence.

As much as Jason actually enjoyed the silence, this one allowed his thoughts to wander. Or really focus on his and Dick's conversation last night.

They had discussed the subject multiple times over their now three year old marriage. The outcome was always the same. It just wouldn't work.

He's always sort of wanted a family. Dick had never said he didn't, he just always had the same (extremely valid) argument.

Both of them had made far too many high profile enemies, ones that would pursue them until their dying breath. With or without the masks.

Dick refused to just put a target on some innocent kid's back, purley out of domestic desires. Jason agreed. It didn't make it sting any less, and it didn't stop him from wanting that life.

Said conversation didn't end on a bad note per say, but he wanted to make sure things were okay between them.

A faint knock on his door pulled him from his deep thoughts.

He stood up, figuring it was the elderly woman from down the hall who had lived here since Dick had bought the building over a decade ago. She always stopped Dick or himself to help her with weird things going on in her apartment. Things the super is supposed to take care of.

When he opened the door it wasn't old senile Mrs. West, but a young girl.

Jason was taken back by her presence. He'd never seen her before, but she didn't look old enough to be on her own, knocking on Jason's door.

She was eight, maybe nine, with long black curls. She was dressed in a bizarre manner, like she'd fallen into a donation bin at Good-Will. Her face was vaguely familiar, he couldn't quite figure out why, he was positive he'd never seen this kid. Her eyes though, caused red flags to raise in Jason's head. They were green. Completely green, similar to Kori's.

She looked up expectantly, a small grin playing on her lips.

Jason smiled down at her warmly, if not slightly confused. "Can I help you?"

"I was looking for my father. I was told he would be here

Jason blinked. He certainly wasn't her father. "What's his name?"

She opened her mouth to answer before closing it. She glanced in both directions down the hall before gesturing for Jason to kneel.

She cupped her hands to his ear and whispered "Nightwing."

His eyebrows shot up.

That might've been possible. Considering his history with a certain Tameranian.

Someone Jason knows went back to Tameran around nine years ago.

Jason swallowed thickly as he stood up.

"He's uh, he'd…" Jason trailed off. "How about you come inside and I'll find him for you."

She stepped past the threshold looking around the apartment.

"Where's your mother?" He asked her.

She turned to face Jason. "Back on Tameran. She sent me away."

A million questions popped into Jason's head. One's he knew she couldn't answer.

"And how did you know your father was here?"

She handed Jason a device. An old Titan's communicator. "My mom said that would help me find him once I got here."

Jason studied the device. Dick still had his, he didn't carry it around, but it was in the apartment. Packed away with his gear.

He kept it around, just in case.

"Hang tight, okay. I'm gonna call him. You just… yeah."

Jason stepped out into the hall, while she pulled herself onto a bar stool.

He dialed Dick's number, which Dick didn't answer.

"Goddammit Dick, c'mon." he groaned, dialing again.

Still no answer.

He sighed.

Of all the times Dick couldn't (or wouldn't) answer his phone, this was one of the worst times for him to be busy.

His phone buzzed. A text from Dick.

 _Is someone dying?_

Jason rolled his eyes before shooting back a response. _It is equally important. Just call me._

Dick didn't respond, or immediately call him, annoying Jason. A lot.

Jason walked back into the apartment. She sat up on the bar stool, swinging her dangling feet.

He took a moment a moment to study her.

The longer he watched, the more he became he became convinced that this was Dick's kid.

He hadn't met Dick until he was fifteen and Dick was out of the house and refusing to talk to Bruce. Jason had no idea what Dick had been like as a child. He imagined it to be something like this.

She glanced around taking in her surroundings. The way she curiously looked around was similar to what Dick does in a new environment. Exactly like Dick does. In fact, she was the spitting image of Dick.

 _Yeah,_ he thought to himself, _this is Dick's kid._

It didn't take her long to notice him.

She looked at him expectantly.

"He should be calling me in a little bit." He tells her. He glanced over at the remains of his lunch. "Umm- are you… are you hungry?"

She looked over at the bowl next to her, before back at Jason slowly.

"Okay, " He clasped his hands together. "Let's see what I can do for you."

He walked over to his fridge to his fridge. "We got- half an onion, leftover Chinese food, a bottle of salad dressing, and a jar with two pickles in it."

She didn't answer, opting for an awkward grin.

"I'm just kidding. Do you want anything in particular or…"

She shook her head.

He nodded, and began fixing her something to eat.

"So, I realized that I don't your name."

"It's Mar'i." She tells him.

"Jason." He reached over, shaking her much smaller hand.

She takes it shaking firmly.

Dick finally called him back while she eats.

Jason stepped away, to answer the call.

' _Hey,_ ' he greeted hinting at some concern. ' _What's up?'_

"What took you so long?" Jason asked. "Irrelevant. You need to get home. Now!"

' _What! Why? Jay are you okay?_ '

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. You just need to get back, as soon as you can."

' _I told you, last night, Damian needed me in Gotham. To help him investigate a crash site outside of Gotham._ '

That caught Jason's attention. He knew Dick was investigating something, he just hadn't known what.

Jason had a hunch as to how how Mar'i got here. It sounded like Dick was going to be investigating where she'd landed.

"Yeah, um, I think I might know what that was."

He could imagine the look on Dick's face. Pure confusion.

' _Is something wrong?_ ' Dick finally asks him.

Jason sighed. "I don't want to explain this on the phone. Just get home. Please."

Dick hesitated. ' _I'll get home as soon as I can. Okay?_ '

He nodded, knowing full well Dick couldn't see it. "Okay. Love you."

' _You too._ '

* * *

It took Dick two hours to finally get home.

He hadn't even realized Dick was home until he heard the door being unlocked and Dick stepping through.

Jason had mostly blocked Dick's view of Mar'i. Mostly

Dick gestured to her, his eyebrow raised. A dozen silent questions in the one facial expression.

Jason gestured to the bedroom. "I'll be right back." He whispered to Mar'i.

Once Jason closed the door behind them, the interrogation began.

"What the hell was so important? Who is that girl?"

"Okay, I'm pretty sure, whatever Damian discovered, has something to do with her."

"That doesn't explain what she's doing here."

"She's Kori's daughter."

Dick froze.

"And I'm almost certain she's your daughter as well."

Dick's face read panic.

"Kori sent her here for unknown reasons, and gave her this," Jason hands Dick the communicator, "to help her locate her father."

Dick blinked at him. "You're, you're kidding right? Jay- I get you're upset, over what happened last night. But seriously?"

"This'd be a really mean joke. No, I'm completely serious, that is your daughter."

Jason could see the protests forming in Dick's mouth.

"Look, I know what you're gonna say, I just spent two hours with her. That is your kid."

Dick's eyes shot towards the living room. His features were filled with multiple emotions, panic being the most prominent.

Jason began to attempt to close the distance, Dick maintained it. It hurt to watch. It wasn't something Dick hadn't done before when something huge had been dropped in his lap like this.

The first time he'd seen this behavior from Dick had been when he'd discovered how Jason felt about him. He hadn't taken that particular discovery very well, he'd obviously warmed up to the idea. He separated himself from the situation, while he wrapped his head around whatever was going on.

"Please talk to me, baby, c'mon. I know this is huge.

Dick glanced up at him. "It's just-" he stopped, like the words wouldn't work. "Why would she keep this from me?"

"I don't think that was the intention."

Dick sighed, leaning against the wall. His mind far away.

"I mean, she was on a different planet." Jason continued. "How was she supposed to contact you?"

Dick looked over at him, the comment hadn't been appreciated.

"She's completely awesome."

That caught his attention. "What's her name?"

Jason smiled. "Mar'i."

Dick repeated the name under his breath, testing how it felt in his mouth.

"She looks just like you." Jason began attempting to turn the tone of the conversation. "I mean, she has some of the same quirks as you, she smiles like you, talks like you, looks like you."

Jason began to reattempt to close the distance between them. Dick didn't step back, allowing Jason to wrap him up in his arms.

Jason kissed his temple. "It'll be okay. I mean, it's not an ideal situation but, we'll have a family. You're not doing this alone."

He felt Dick relax against him. "I guess you're right." he whispered. "It could be worse."

There was a beat of silence.

Suddenly Dick tensed up, pulling away. He covered his mouth. "Oh god Kori. You know the only reason she would've sent away Mar'i was if something happened."

Jason began to realize what Dick was getting at. "Are you saying…"

Dick nodded. "Yeah, that or imprisoned, or enslaved. I mean, why else would she send her daughter away?"

Jason sighed, unsure how to respond. "You should talk to her."

Dick leaned his head back against Jason's shoulder. "Yeah, I probably should."

Jason continued pressing kisses against Dick's temple. "I'll stay put, give you two some privacy."

Dick nodded.

* * *

The talked for hours, well into the evening.

Jason had taken to sitting on the floor in the hall listening. The first little bit was painful to listen too, he couldn't imagine being a part of it.

Eventually, Dick found something that sparked her interest. One thing led to another and he was now teaching her tic-tac-toe. A strange choice? Yes. But it seemed to be working.

Jason glanced around the corner. He saw them sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. She was pressed against his side watching him write on the paper.

She took the pen from his hand, making her move.

Dick was wearing his usual troublemaker smile. "Whoa, that was mean."

She giggled, looking up at him.

"I didn't see that coming."

Her grin windend"You didn't see that coming?"

Dick shook his head. "No, you're so smart. I just… you're smarter than me."

She wasn't buying it, but she played along.

Jason couldn't help but smile at them. Dick was, of course, falling into the roll with annoying ease. Like he always did. Dick was just naturally good at everything.

His husband was without a doubt, the most attractive person he knew. Jason hadn't thought it was possible for him to be even more beautiful. Seeing him now, with his daughter like she'd always been here, Jason felt like he was falling for him hard all over again.

Dick spotted Jason, his smile shifted, he raised an eyebrow at him before focusing back at the again.

Dick had already contacted Damian, telling him something came up. Apparently, Tim was back from his mission, he was going to help in place of Dick. Jason was positive Demon Spawn was going to just _love_ the change.

Jason got up, deciding to turn in early.

He took a shower, figuring Dick would make sure Mar'i would be taken care of tonight.

When he got out Dick was sitting in the bed typing away at his laptop while his phone blew up next to him.

"You gonna get that?" Jason asked him.

"Nah, it's just Damian. I don't think he appreciated my stand in."

"So, Tim's not a good replacement. Weird."

"Lay off man."

"What? I'm kidding."

Dick smiled shaking his head as he went back to focusing on his work.

"Whatcha workin' on?" Jason crawls onto the bed, looking at the screen while resting his head on Dick's shoulder.

Dick ignored him. "Just trying to figure out what happened."

"What?"

"Just… hmmm… Tim's been sending stuff from the site. There's a lot to siphon through."

Jason started kissing his shoulder, in a desperate attempt to get his spouse's attention.

"Do you need something?" Dick finally asks him.

Jason shook his head, continuing to press kisses against the old t-shirt.

Dick stops typing and looks at Jason. "You know, I would babe, but I'm busy."

"Hasn't stopped you in the past."

"This is important."

"You smell good."

Dick gave an amused sigh, kissing the top of his head. "Maybe tomorrow."

"I'm holdin' you too it."

Dick smiled. "Okay."

Jason kissed him deeply. "Are you sleeping tonight?"

Dick shrugs. "We'll see."

Jason laid back, sprawled on his half of the bed. "I missed you these past two weeks."

Dick glanced back at him. "I missed you too."

"It's hard to sleep without you."

Dick smirked.

"You think that's funny."

"I just don't have any trouble sleeping without you. Kidding."

Jason rolled his eyes.

"Did you not sleep while you were gone?"

"No, I did. Just not as well."

"Awww, you're clingy."

"Piss off."

Dick returned his focus to the computer, ending the conversation.

Jason hadn't realized how tired he felt until he laid there for a few minutes listening to Dick's impossibly fast typing. He shifted, laying against Dick's side. At some point Dick stopped typing, opting to stroke Jason's back with his fingertips, lulling him to sleep.

He isn't sure when he fell asleep, but he was content.

Jason thought that just being with Dick was all he needed to be happy. He wasn't wrong, he felt complete when he was with Dick. Now, there was something else to fill his life with joy, and he was so happy Mar'i was with them.

He actually had everything he wanted, the world could end tonight and he would've felt complete. There was so much more to fight for now. He wasn't about to let anything happen to this life he'd created.

* * *

 **I do plan on adding more. But this will just be a series of one shots, all filled with fluff, based off what happened in this story. So, stay tuned.**


	2. Chapter 2

**All characters belong to their respective companies, *prequel to previous chapter.***

* * *

Jason wasn't sure why he was there, or why he felt it was the only place he could go. He knew he was in trouble. A lot of trouble. He knew it was his fault. The last thing he wanted to do was drag more people down with him.

Yet here he was, with nowhere else to turn, staring at Dick Grayson's front door.

It was four in the morning. Theoretically, if he did go patrolling tonight, he'd be back by now. Jason didn't want Dick involved in any of this. If only Dick was more of an asshole, it'd be so much easier to knock on the door and basically ruin his life.

But, he was far from an asshole. He saw the best in people, even the ones who don't deserve it. Like himself. Jason wanted so desperately to hate him. But he never could. Simply to good and pure for the world, for the life he'd been given. If anyone deserved a second chance, for peace and every good thing that happened to them, it was Dick.

Jason raised his fist, ready to rap his knuckles against the door. He stood there like that for a while. There were other places he could go to lie low for a while. This wasn't even close by, it was in a completely different city, but for some reason he thought this was the best place for him.

He clenched his jaw, exhaling loudly through his nose, and dropping his hand.

Jason shook his head. "I'm so fucking screwed." He breathed before briskly knocking on the door.

He stepped back, waiting for Dick to open the door and give him the same disappointed and judgemental look that he absolutely hated. Dick always seemed to know Jason was in trouble before he said anything. Ever since Jason was Robin and would randomly run into Nightwing. He always let Jason vent about the situation before asking how exactly he got into it. Usually it was something stupid that got him there, and Dick always knew what to say.

He waited at least a minute with no answer before he knocked again.

Another thirty seconds before Dick answered the door.

The look was definitely disappointed and judgmental, but annoyed was the most prominent. He'd obviously been asleep. The same stained sweats that Jason had seen him in a million times, a tshirt that was obviously thrown on in haste, he look rather rumbled and a mess. And absolutely fuckable.

He gave Jason a once over. Something that no one would've caught, unless they went to the Batman school of reading people.

He raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jason glanced down. "I, uh, I don't have anywhere else to go."

The look in Dick's eyes changed. He heard the pleading in Jason voice, the obvious desperation in the words.

He made a weird face before stepping aside. "C'mon. Get in."

Jason awkwardly stepped past him, across the threshold. Dick closed the door behind him.

Dick hesitated. "What's going on?"

Jason stood awkwardly, avoiding his gaze.

"Jay, what the hell. You can't just show up here, claiming you can't go anywhere else, and keep me in the dark."

Jason kept his head down, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again. He couldn't bring himself to tell him.

Dick sighed. "It's been a long night, I'm gonna go to bed. You can crash here if you need to. Just, don't smoke in here. If you're going to, just go on the fire escape."

Jason watched as he turned to go back into the bedroom.

"Something piss you off?"

Dick whipped back around. "What?"

"Bloody knuckles." Jason gestured to Dick's fist. "Did you not use tape?"

Dick glaced down, examining the wounds. "The tape just wore. It happens."

"Yeah, if you go at it non stop for a few hours."

"You're one to talk. I was just blowing off steam."

He didn't give Jason a chance to respond, before returning to his bed.

Jason sighed before falling back onto the sofa. Why of all people did it have to be him? Why was Dick the one he was drawn to like a moth to an open flame, why was Dick the one that he dreamt of in secret and instantly felt ashamed, why was Dick the one he couldn't seem to get over.

He and Dick's relationship had always been complicated. When he was young, it was simply because he intimidated by his elder and became extremely disappointed at the kind of attention he always received. Not that it was ever anything he'd done. Dick had been mad at Bruce (rightfully so, but Jason could never and would never admit to it) and as an extension tolerated Jason.

And when Jason came back from the dead, he'd been held at a distance. Which stung even more. The one person he actually still cared about, that Jason wanted to know that he was alive and well, that he wanted to run to and be told it would all be okay. That one person trusted Jason about as far as he could throw him, if that.

Jason couldn't say he didn't bring it onto himself, his entrance had left little to be desired.

It wasn't the first time he'd crashed at Dick's place, but tonight felt different. A strange and unwanted sense of confidence was blossoming. Dick didn't know how Jason felt. Didn't know about the secret dreams and the subconscious longing that he barely kept from escaping his lips some days. The elder might guess it sometimes, and if he had, he'd never said anything. Jason wasn't sure if that was a comforting thought or not.

Dick had always been rather intuitive, it's what made his gut instinct so trustworthy and on the nose. Because it was almost never wrong. There was a slim chance he already knew, and the thought of that slim chance made Jason sick to his stomach.

So why did it feel right to just start talking about it now? When Dick was annoyed with him, and most certainly would NOT respond how he wanted.

He knew in the morning Dick was going to interrogate him, he just didn't have the patience to do it right now. Jason needed to either come clean about what happened (no), come up with some sort of excuse (that Dick would see through in an instant so… No), or tell Dick every single feeling that he'd had since he was fourteen to avoid discussing the mess he'd gotten himself into (hell no).

It didn't leave him many options.

Jason sighed, falling to his side and sinking into the couch.

Why was he here? A stupid, rookie mistake, someone like himself shouldn't make.

A new gang had entered his territory. Jason was just supposed to scare them away. It was all going according to plan, until one stupid kid tried to shoot him. It was instinct, and he was supposed to figure out who these kids were answering to.

That chance was never given. The gun was fired, and Jason shot the perpetrator point blank, not the least bit shaken. Until he realized who these kids worked for, and instantly knew he'd overstepped.

While yes he had been working on taking out Black Mask, he had to be careful. What had happened, had completely screwed him over. Now Mask was trying to come at him with righteous fury.

Jason wasn't scared of him, or what he could do. It was what he might do to other people who were known associates of his. People like Arsenal, Red Robin and Nightwing. Though he would pay good money to see Black Mask try and take them down. It scared him, that he might be successful.

Dick's apartment was surprisingly quiet, considering the part of Bludhaven he lived in.

Jason wondered if Dick had sound proofed it, which he quickly dismissed. Dick lived in this area for a reason. So he could hear everything. The city must've decided to quiet for the night. A strange concept for such a loud city. Cities like this didn't have a curfew.

Jason felt like he was slowly sinking deeper in the sofa. He didn't even know he fell asleep. Until he woke up.

There was a blanket over him. All the sences he'd spent years perfecting felt muddled and clouded.

He sat up rubbing his face. He scanned the room. He jumped when he saw Dick leaning against the counter on the other side of the room, a mug in his hand. He wasn't paying much attention to Jason.

"Good Morning." He told Jason. "You were out of it."

Jason didn't respond. Everything still felt fuzzy.

Dick walked over to him. "Here." He handed Jason another mug, full of coffee. "Must've been a rough week. You didn't even flinch when came out here and started doing things. I actually half expected you to be gone when I left this morning. But no you were still here, dead asleep."

"You left?"

"Went out on a run to clear my head. It's still morning by the way. Like nine thirty."

Jason glanced at the clock before looking down at the coffee Dick had given him. He began to nurse it, a way to avoid the interrogation that was obviously about to begin.

Dick waited a few moments, before sighing. "Why're you here Jay? What happened?"

Jason shook his head. "Nothing you need to be concerned about."

"Yeah, you're probably right. If only you hadn't shown up at my door at four in the morning claiming you had nowhere else to go."

Jason directed his line of sight next to Dick's shoulder.

"Seriously? You know that I've already done some digging. Why don't you save us both the trouble and just tell me. Maybe I could help you."

"I don't want your help."

Dick sat down next to him. "You know, you're a pretty good lier. That is until you start lying to me. I can see right through you. God, Jason why do you have to make this so difficult?"

"Dammit Dick, can't you leave well enough alone?"

"Not when it shows up in the middle of the night on the verge of tears."

Jason huffed, then turned to look Dick in the face.

It was that hard completely neutral face. One he usually wore when either he could feel the argument or was in one. He was ready for whatever Jason was going to throw at him.

"I know that kid got shot by you Jay." He said, his tone dropped. It was far more serious, and demanding.

 _How? How did he figure that out?_

Dick must've read his face. "Not much happens in Gotham or Bludhaven without a bat knowing about it. Tim was close to the scene. He found the body and figured I could handle you while he handled that mess. That kid worked for Black Mask, he was a scout and you killed him."

"You want to scold me or something?"

"What, no, Jay I want you to be straight with me. I want you to tell me what the hell is going on."

"Doesn't seem like I have to, you've got the whole story."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Why'd you come here? Of all the places you could go, why here?"

Jason feels it gathering up, words pressing against his teeth. Threatening to spill. He couldn't tell him, it would ruin everything. The semi decent relationship he'd finally gotten with Dick would just go up in smoke. Jason didn't want to risk it.

There was this horrible pleading look in Dick's eyes. He wanted honesty, something Jason wasn't willing to offer. The longer Jason analyzed the look in his eyes, the closer the words came to spilling over his lips.

"I don't know." He mumbled.

"Oh good another lie. Here I thought you might just give me a straight answer. Silly me." Dick stood up, and began walking away.

"Because I actually feel safe here." He sputtered out.

Dick slowly turned to face him. His facial expression shifting to something not completely readable.

"I feel safe, well safer, when-" his voice caught, "when you're not in a completely different city. I like knowing you're in the next room, that you'll actually listen when I need someone to talk to, that there is someone who actually has my back."

The words tumbled out one after the other.

"Then let me help you fix the shit show you got yourself in."

"No. The last thing I want is you getting hurt."

"I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a while actually."

"It's more than that."

"Then tell me, since I'm apparently the only one that listens. Tell me."

Jason shook his head. "You don't want me to tell you this, trust me."

Dick pinched the bridge on his nose, his frustration cleary building. "You're unbelievable Jay, you know that. You say all this, and yet you're shutting me out. Like you always do when things get to… I don't know emotional. Like you're too emotionally invested-" He stopped suddenly. His head snapped up sharply, looking Jason square in the face.

Jason broke the stared. He was just too damn smart for his own good.

The tension became thick and uncomfortable. He glanced up slightly. Dick's eyes hadn't shifted for a second, but it was clear he wasn't really looking at anything. The thoughts going through his head were almost visible.

"Jay." He finally whisper after almost a minute and a half of unbroken silence.

Jason looked back up, he didn't like this facial expression either. This mixture of unbelief and guilt. Like he'd led Jason on or something, which he hadn't.

Another thirty seconds. "Do you… are you. I mean, you-"

Jason didn't give any response, which was one in of itself.

He watched as Dick made different moves, as if he wanted this conversation to continue and go in reverse all at the same time. His weight kept shifting on his feet, his hand fidgeted as they went through different positions to signify some sort of sentence. Ones that he seemed incapable of saying.

"Oh my god," Jason suddenly found himself saying, "have you lost the ability to put a coherent sentence together?"

"What do you want from me? Huh, what exactly were you expecting?"

"This." Jason answered his voice barely audible

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know."

Dick leaned against the wall. "What do you want me to do with this Jay?"

Jason shook his head. "You weren't supposed to know. I was just supposed to suffer alone and leave you blissfully unaware."

Dick's expression became hard and calculated. But Jason saw through it, his eyes registered the hurt he was feeling.

Jason felt the tears welling up. He couldn't stay. So he didn't.

He stood up and briskly walked out the door, Dick didn't even try to stop him. Jason had no idea where he was going to go, but he needed to get far away from here. Far away from Dick.

* * *

He sat with his feet dangling over the street. It'd been a week, and he hadn't even seen Dick. He wasn't out and about, wasn't in Gotham, and Jason had no idea if he was even still in Bludhaven. This had been an absolutely miserable week.

He heard someone land behind him. Soft, but familiar.

"What do you want?" Jason asked him.

The individual approached him, sitting on the ledge next to him, allowing his own feet to dangle off the side as well.

"Wanted to see how you were doing." Tim told him.

Jason's fingers drumed against the helmet in his hands. "Dick told you?"

"No, he didn't have to. I'm assuming you told him."

"Yes and no."

There was a beat of silence between them.

"He's avoiding me isn't he?" Jason asked him.

"Like the plague."

"I feel awful. He wasn't supposed to find out."

"Well he did Jay. Now what're you going to do about it?"

Jason had no idea what he was supposed to do about it. It's not like talking about it was going to fix anything if Dick was going to avoid him.

Then another question popped in his head. "How'd you know?"

He caught Tim's gaze.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just kind of clicked one day."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"It wasn't something I needed to be sticking my nose in. It's not like it was hurting anyone or preventing you from doing your job. I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would."

"I'm surprised Dick didn't realize it sooner."

"Maybe he didn't want to. He just kind of slipped that evidence under the rug and ignored it. It's not like he wanted to change things either."

"I've ruined everything."

He could feel Tim roll his eyes. "No you haven't dipshit."

Jason turned his head back to face him.

"For someone as in to Dick as you seem to be, you don't really know him at all. I don't think it's possible for you to lose him. If it was, it would've happened a long time ago and you know it."

"Tim, you didn't see-"

"No I didn't, I also didn't hear either. But god, if the last few years have shown me anything about you two, it's that he's probably always gonna take you back. He's always going to stand beside you."

"Well how am I supposed to fix things if he won't even talk to me?"

Tim sighed. "You could ask for help."

Jason made a face.

"What? I'm serious. Dick's not avoiding me. You want to talk to him about feelings and crap, I'm going to be the last person to stop you."

Jason shook his head. "I'm not getting help with this, especially not from you."

Tim shook his head. "Too bad, tough guy. I don't need a mopy Red Hood. No one needs that. And you deserve a chance to be happy."

"No I don't"

"Yes you do. You're a good person, Jay. I mean, your methods are a little askew, but your heart's in the right place. You want to protect the innocent. That makes you a good guy. It's one of the reasons I stick by you when nobody else will, it's one of the reasons Dick sticks by you. Why his forgiveness is unlimited when it comes to you." Tim sighed. "Look, I didn't come here to give you a therapy session I'm far from qualified to give. I came, because I'm not letting burn bridges that don't need to be simply because your afraid."

Jason didn't say anything, he didn't even look up.

"So he might not like you the way you want him to. That sucks, but you don't want to lose him. You will if you keep this shit up. He's done trying to close the distance and always be the one to fix things. You need to just grow a pair and meet him halfway for once in your life."

"Calling me a cowards Drake?"

"That's what you're getting out of this? Look, I'm gonna have Dick meet me somewhere, you're gonna meet him instead and you're going to fix this."

Jason smirked at his tone. "Look at you takin' initiative. It's a good look."

"Stop that."

Jason shrugged.

"I'm serious. Now, if you don't show, I'm telling him everything."

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah I will, you and I both know it would be better if he heard it from you."

"I know."

"So?"

"So, I'll be there."

"And what will you do?"

"Talk to him, if he'll listen."

* * *

Jason landed softly on the rooftop next to the building Tim had said Dick would be at.

He could hear his heart thumping in his ears. He hated Tim, a lot right now, but he was right nonetheless. The sooner he got all of this off his chest, the sooner things could go back to normal.

Jason jumped down, onto the next roof. Opening the access door he went to the floor below.

This building had been under construction for something Penguin had been working on. Had being the operative word, his plans had been ruined by Dick and Tim. The gutted building remained in the slums of Gotham. It had been for some time. Jason knew homeless people hid out on the lower floors, but the top two, surprisingly they had yet to find a way up.

It was good spot for any one of them to meet. It was a good spot for this conversation. Away from prying ears and eyes. Where it could all be let out without worry of being discovered.

Dick had his back to him, in full uniform. An image Jason saved and pushed to the back of his mind for later. Because… it was arousing.

The way his suit hugged each muscle of his toned back, you could see the tension as he had arms crossed. His shoulder pressing against the concrete wall. Jason could only imagine what his face might look like.

He'd gotten so caught up in staring, he'd begun to forget why he was even there.

"You're not Tim." Dick said suddenly.

He turned to slightly face Jason. Opting to press his back against the wall, keeping the arms crossed to seem slightly closed off and uninterested (a common look when out in the field), and his head cocked slightly to one side as he observed Jason's behavior.

Jason shook his. "No, it was his idea though."

He half expected Dick to scoff, he did nothing of the sort. "I'm not surprised. What'd you want Jay?"

Jason was slightly hurt by the tone. "I want to talk to you. Explain things. Explain everything."

"Well I'm here aren't I?"

"There's no point in denying it, I like you, okay? I have for a while, and no, you weren't supposed to know. Because, honestly, part of me knew it wouldn't be reciprocated, and I wanted to be okay with that. I didn't want things to be weird, or to change. If you want to forget about it and pretend it never happened. It's fine, I'll be okay. I just want us to be okay."

"Here's the problem Jason, I can't just forget it. Okay? I want to, god, I so want to. It'd be so much easier to just, forget it. But you telling me that you were willing to just sit there and be unhappy isn't okay, and it never will be."

"Yeah, it will Dick."

Dick seemed to bite the inside of his cheek. "What do you want from me?" He asked softly, his voice just barely above a whisper.

Jason took a moment to answer. "Nothing."

Dick shook his head. "Quit trying to spare my feelings here. I'm an adult, I can handle it. Now what do you want from me?"

 _So much._ Jason thought. _So much, and at the same time nothing at all._ "Nothing Dick."

The problem was, Dick knew it wasn't true. One of his best skills is that he was one of the best at reading people. Probably better than Bruce, the only person better was Cass.

Dick sighed, taking off his mask. Suddenly, there was emotion in his face. His eyes always gave him away. Always had, always would.

Jason knew what he wanted, and Jason needed to say it.

"What're you doing to me?" Dick suddenly asked, seemingly to himself more than Jason. "I was fine, everything was fine, until… until you-."

Jason began to read between the lines.

Dick looked back at him. Asking the same question, without saying the words.

Jason knew what he needed to do.

Before he could stop himself, he was brisly closing the distance between Dick and himself. Taking Dick's face in his hands and kissing him. It was hungry and needy and at the same time not, somehow. It took him a couple of seconds to register that he was actually kissing Dick Grayson, it took him a few more to realize Dick was kissing him back. His hand on Jason's arms, as his own fingers massaged his scalp.

He felt Dick push against his chest to break the kiss. The kiss Jason didn't want to end.

Dick looked up at him, completely breathless.

Jason took a step back, unable to maintain eye contact. "I want you."

Dick bit his lower lip, looking down.

"I always have. You asked me what I wanted from you, that's it. That's what I want. I want you, I want this. And if that's not something you want, then I respect that. I won't do anything. I'll back off, it'll be like this never happened. I know you don't want that either, but I'm not gonna force this."

Just as Jason was about to walk away when Dick grabbed his hand.

"I don't know what I want." Dick told him. "But I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't."

"And I don't want you to avoid me. But I need you to be patient. Willing to give me… a chance to figure out this is."

Jason laced his fingers with Dick's. "Like I said. I'm not gonna force anything on you. You need time, I have plenty of it. You need space, you got it. You need me, I'm there yesterday."

He brought Dick's hand to his lips, kissing it.

Dick removed his hand from Jason's grasp, pulling Jason down to kiss him again. Jason pressed him against the wall behind them. Dick's legs were wrapped around his hips to give him more leverage, his hand's framing the sides of Jason's face and taking control of the kiss. Which Jason was strangely okay with. Basically what one would call a hardcore makeout session, and nothing more.

Afterwards Dick went home, saying they would talk.

Jason went back into his territory. Back to the same rooftop, in the same place. Only this time, he didn't feel depressed. He wasn't sure what he felt.

"How'd it go?" Tim asked, a shit eating grin plastered across his face.

"I don't kiss and tell."

"So it went well?"

Jason shrugged.

"Can I ask when the wedding is?"

"Only if I can punch you off this roof."

Tim held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, okay. But, seriously, things are…?"

"I don't know. I'm not quite sure where we stand, or what's next. I'm giving him some space and time to think."

"He's going back to Bludhaven?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah, probably."

Tim smirked, shaking his head.

"What?"

"You. It's like you're not used to getting your way, or for things to go right. You're not quite sure what to do with yourself. It's kind of funny."

"Don't you have patrol or something to get back to?"

"Yeah, but it's been a quiet night. But do you want me to leave you alone?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"Say no more, the annoying little brother act is over."

Tim shot him a peace sign before diving off the roof.

Jason did wonder what the next step would be. What the future held. Dick knew now, he knew everything, and he seemed open minded. That was more than Jason could ask for.

* * *

 **I haven't ever written a kiss fic before, so this was uncharted territory. I hope I did alright and I hope you enjoyed.**


	3. Chapter 3

**All characters belong to their respective companies**

* * *

He should go home. Jason knew exactly where he was needed. He knew exactly who needed him. But he lacked any and all motivation simply because a large chunk of himself was missing from his life and hadn't spoken to him in going on seven weeks

Seven weeks of absolutely no contact with his husband, who was doing an off world mission and had decided for some unknown reason that a dead zone was going to help them win their fight. He wasn't the only one desperate to get him back. Jason wasn't the only one Dick was fighting for now. Dick had a daughter, one who also missed him. Alot.

About a year and a half ago Mar'i had been dropped into his lap in a slightly unwelcome manner. It had taken Dick a little to warm up to the idea of having a child, but because Dick was Dick there was an instant bond between the two of them and he quickly went from being apprehensive towards her existence to complete overprotective and likely to kill anything that even threatened her.

Mar'i had taken a little while longer to trust Jason. They'd finally reached a good place, she would actually seek him out for things, let him comfort her when Dick wasn't around. When he felt like things had solidified and they could really start talking about a next step Dick got caught up in Titan's business.

It was only supposed to be a week. Just enough for him to go and help make a good battle plan to avoid an alien invasion. Nothing dangerous or crazy, and nothing that should've caused any issues. Until the end of the week came and things took a turn for the worst. Suddenly he was calling Jason and trying to quickly explain while preparing for a huge and last minute off world trip that he wasn't going to be back for a little bit. No time table would be provided.

Suddenly Jason watched as the Justice and League and the Titans started pulling from their reserves to prepare for a possible war. Robin left with the Teen Titans to Join Nightwing and his own team. Basically all of Red's team, excluding Red himself, were stationed on outposts helping direct shipments full of supplies and weapons towards their army. Red Robin was pulled towards whatever base they'd created and was rarely seen from it. Because of all this, Jason found himself being the sole protector of Gotham.

He wasn't completely alone. The Birds of Prey were helping where they could, but they were stretched thin because the League had become so occupied. Spoiler and Black Bat were good and helping pick up the slack in Gotham. Batwoman stuck to her area, telling Jason not to worry about it and focus on the bigger picture which he was eternally grateful for. He'd even gone to Blue Bird to have her help Alfred with comms in the cave (something she was actually excited to do), and Duke helped wherever he was needed.

Jason felt he'd done good for becoming so short handed so suddenly. But the real credit actually went to Dick. Naturally, with his Bat like instinct, he had a plan ready incase things went sideways. He knew things could go wrong on the flip of a dime and that he needed to be ready if it did. So when they had communication he gave Jason some basic instructions for what to do since Batman, Red Robin, and himself were unavailable. The three people who could come up with a plan like this.

For five weeks Jason would take Mar'i to the base, where there was a good strong connection between Earth and the deployed teams, and they would talk to Dick for as long as they could. It was hard but the communication helped.

Then, out of nowhere, communication with Dick's team ceased. A week after that Tim gives him a written letter by Dick and tries to explain the situation the best he can while keeping Jason calm. Everyday Mar'i asked the same question ' _is he coming home soon?_ ' and Jason would always give her the same answer ' _I hope so_ '.

It got harder everyday, and the worst part was Mar'i noticed Jason's downward decent. There wasn't much that she could do, from what he and Dick had gathered, Mar'i was around ten years old. This poor ten year old girl had already lost her mother and was missing her father and her only connection to him was on the roof of their apartment while she was fast asleep with a bottle of Russian vodka.

Slade had given it to him a few years ago as a job well done or something. Normally alcohol of any kind took a minute to give him any sort of buzz. He guessed this was something Slade drank too, to help temporarily erase emotions and just be an empty void of nothing.

His mind felt empty, the only sounds coming from the city around him. The alcohol was doing exactly as intended turning every single feeling he had into a large blob. He sat there for hours unmoving aside from when he took another swig from the bottle.

He'd held out from getting drunk for a long time. He knew he was pretty close to getting blackout drunk which he hadn't been in years, and knew he needed to stop so Mar'i would have an adult figure to wake up to. But his motivation for the task was severely lacking.

Jason glanced down at the glass bottle in his hand. There was about a fourth of it left. He stood up, swaying on his feet, and threw the rest of it as hard as he could towards another building. He watched the remnants explode against the brick and rain down onto the ally below. He stumbled back from the force he'd thrown it with and collapsed onto the ground.

The sky didn't hold very many stars. Gotham never has, too much pollution and too many lights. He wasn't planning on passing out on the roof, but that was exactly what happened.

" _You know they've never met Mar'i." Jason told Dick._

 _He glanced up at him. "Who?"_

" _Bruce, Alfred, Cass, Steph. They've never met Mar'i have they?"_

 _Dick though for a minute. "No, I don't think they have. Just haven't had time to bring her by the Manor. And I wanted to give her a chance to, you know, adjust to us."_

" _Fair enough, but it's been like four months. I think the adjustment period's over."_

" _You do?"_

" _Yeah, she like you, as she should. And you know they'd love to meet her."_

 _Dick smiled "You're right, they would. I mean Damian loves her so they hard parts over."_

 _Jason snorted. "Yeah that was a little surprising. So how about, you know Alfred does those Sunday family dinner things once a month?"_

" _That you never go to, yeah."_

" _Take her to that."_

" _Are you going to come with."_

" _I can."_

 _Dick gave him a blank look. "More like you will."_

 _Jason gave a toothy smile. "Yes that's exactly what I meant. I will go."_

" _Hmmm. Good answer."_

" _I'm full of them."_

 _Dick shook his head before trying to walk off as Jason grabbed and kissed his temple before releasing him._

" _What was that?" Dick asked him._

" _Nothing. Go tell your daughter she's having dinner with the family on Sunday."_

" _And then?" Dick sudden got a rather mischievous look on his face._

 _Jason shrugged. "I don't know."_

" _You don't know? I'll give you a minute."_

 _Jason could help but smile. Dick was the only one to make him lose face. With just about everyone else he was stone cold and emotionless, but with Dick? The man could make Jason's knees buckle without even trying._

 _She actually seemed excited at the idea of meeting everyone else. The whole trip to the Manor Jason could feel her nervous energy. She had met some of them i.e. Tim, Barbara, and Damian at different times for different reasons. She was always curious about their childhood._

" _Wow." Was her only response to the Manor._

" _You know that's what I said when I first got here." Dick told her as he circled the car._

" _It's huge."_

 _Jason nodded. "Yeah it is."_

 _Dick took her hand. "C'mon."_

 _She shyly followed close behind him up to the side door that went into the kitchen. Dick had long since stopped going through the main entrance._

 _The first person they came across was Alfred._

" _Hey Alfred." Dick greeted warmly as he closed the door behind him._

" _Master Dick. It's been a while."_

" _Yeah we've been busy."_

" _I can see that."_

 _Alfred watched Mar'i stand close to Dick with the same smile Jason had seen when he first arrived at the Manor. She eyed him curiously, it obvious she saw he wasn't any sort of threat but she wasn't going to trust him on site._

" _She is very reminiscent of you Master Dick."_

" _That's what everyone keeps telling me. But the more time I've spent with her the more I've seen Kori."_

" _No I see bits of her as well, but your genes are far more prominent. I assume this young lady is around nine years old as that is when Miss. Koriander departed."_

" _Yeah that sounds about right."_

" _One hell of a goodbye." A new voice added on to the conversation._

" _You know what?"_

" _What?" Tim asked._

" _Shut up."_

 _Tim smiled at his silent victory before noticing Jason. "Hey Jay. It's been awhile since I've seen you around here."_

" _Indeed it has." Alfred agreed._

 _Jason shrugged. "He made me come."_

" _I didn't have to try very hard."_

" _Something tells me you don't have to try very hard to convince him to do a lot of things."_

" _Oh my god." Jason mumbled._

 _Tim laughed at the reaction as Alfred rolled his eyes._

" _Mar'i you remember Tim." Dick asked her, stepping aside so she could be seen better._

 _Tim smile changed to something far more inviting. "Hey. I know this place is pretty intimidating. And believe me Alfred isn't scary unless you do something bad."_

 _She seemed to relax as Tim told her that, taking a slight step away from Dick._

" _Where's Bruce?" Dick asked._

" _I believe he's in the study." Alfred responded._

 _Dick nodded before stepping away, obviously intent on finding him. Mar'i watched him leave with a slightly frightened look painted on her face._

" _You know, I bet if you ask nicely, Alfred might have something for you." Jason told her._

 _Jason had to bite back a laugh at the look he received from Alfred._

 _She looked at Jason, before shaking her head._

" _You don't want anything?"_

" _No" Her voice was barely audible._

 _Jason wasn't quite sure what to. Dick was much better as helping her feel at ease. She was comfortable around Jason, but she was still apprehensive. Being essentially alone in an unfamiliar environment with people she didn't know wasn't doing much in helping their relationship._

" _You know Mar'i," Tim started, "I know where all the best hiding places are in the Manor. Do you want to see them?"_

 _She hesitated sending a quick glance towards Jason as if looking to see if he would offer something else before nodding._

" _C'mon. I'll show you."_

 _She followed him out of the kitchen._

" _She's very cautious." Alfred commented after a moment._

" _Yeah. I guess that a side effect with growing up on a planet where everyone is trying to kill you."_

" _You know he misses you."_

" _Who?"_

" _Master Bruce, myself. We both wish you'd come by more often."_

" _I'm here for her."_

" _If that's going to be your reason, it's a good one to choose."_

A bucket of ice cold water suddenly washed over him. He shot up cough and shivering from the shock of it to see a rather angry Tim.

"What the hell's the matter with you?"

Jason was having trouble processing the question. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know. My ten year old niece called telling me she woke up alone and couldn't find her step father. Who I find passed out drunk on the roof of his apartment building. So I guess you could say I'm doing your job."

Jason groaned falling back onto the concrete. "Shit."

"That's all you have to say for yourself?"

Jason began to stand up. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. I'm not the one you need to be talking to. I get Dick being gone isn't doing you any favors. But the two of you have a child. A child that has unfortunately been left in your sole care. I don't care how depressed you feel, it gives you absolutely no excuse to pull this kind of shit. For two hours she had no idea if her guardian was dead somewhere, or had been kidnapped, or hell just straight up abandoned her. It's not like you don't have a history."

"I would never."

"But you'll get drunk up here and leave her completely defenceless."

"I'm sorry okay. I'm pathetic and weak. I miss him. I need him."

"First of all I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to. Second of all she needs you. The only pathetic thing here is that for some reason you can seem to get through that thick skull of yours that she needs you. Now more than ever."

"Thought you were to busy to leave the base?"

"Yeah well. I made an exception. I was kind of hoping you just got hurt and that you weren't doing something selfish. But unfortunately my gut instinct is always right."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's upset but she's fine."

Jason wasn't sure what to say.

Tim scoffed before rolling his eyes. "Go downstairs and take a shower, you reek, and talk to her. Because she's the one who deserves the explanation. Not me."

He knew Tim was completely right, and he also saw no point in putting up any sort of fight because Tim was right. Jason just submitted and went downstairs to stand under the running water for what felt like an eternity.

The water washed away the dirt and sweat, it washed away the stench of the vodka. But it left everything else. All the broken feelings that were causing him to make stupid decisions that endangered what was basically his child's life.

 _Jason knocked on Mar'i's door before entering. She was sitting in the corner of the room, reading a book she'd found in the hall closet. A childhood favorite of Jason's._

"' _Where the Sidewalk Ends', good choice." He commented._

" _Yeah, Dad said I could read it."_

 _He nodded. "Yeah that was actually my copy that I, uh, stole from a teacher of mine when I was a lot younger. She let me keep it. I wasn't exactly a very good thief. Anyway. So your dad's gonna be on a late patrol tonight so I thought we could take advantage of the lack of supervision and do something fun."_

" _Like what?"_

" _Well let's see. It's getting close to your bedtime. But I was thinking we could ignore that, I could do the whole irresponsible parent thing, and take you to get ice cream at oh," Jason looked at his watch. "9:30"_

 _She smiled._

" _Yeah that's what I thought. C'mon."_

 _The small shop wasn't too far from their apartment. Just around a block and a half. They walked hand in hand inside._

" _Do you know what you want?"_

" _There's too much to choose from."_

" _The hardest decision in a child's life should be what ice cream flavor they want." Jason lowered down. "Now we have a couple options here. You could go the boring route and just pick a flavor or you could go with plain old vanilla and request for every single topping they have to offer. Of course that would be at the risk getting a ridiculous sugar high and a possible stomach ache and would get me in a whole lot of trouble."_

 _She thought for a moment. "We could get a big one and split it."_

" _I like your thinking. But if we do that I do have one request we leave off the chopped nuts. We can keep everything else."_

" _Okay, then we leave off that strawberry sauce too."_

" _Uh. Okay I think I can manage."_

 _She watched the people pass by the window for a while. Much like Dick she enjoyed people watching._

" _Thank you Jason." She told him suddenly._

" _For what?"_

" _This."_

" _No problem. Just don't tell your dad."_

" _It'll be our secret."_

Her door was already open. He pushed past the threshold. She sat on her bed hugging her knees, not bothering to look up at him.

"Mar'i I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything, simply burying her face deeper against her knees.

"It was selfish and stupid of me to leave you alone while I wallowed around in my own self pity. It's not fair to you. I'm not gonna make any excuses about my actions. If you want I can arrange that you go and stay at the manor, away from me, for a little while or until your dad gets back."

She glanced in his direction.

"I know you miss him. It's not fair of us to put you through this." He walked over sitting at the edge of her bed. "I'm sorry."

"Tim said he found you on the roof."

"He did. And he yelled at me for you."

"He's probably better at it."

He sighed. "Do you want to leave?"

She finally looked at him. "No."

"What do you want?"

Tears begun to spill down her cheeks. "I want my dad back."

Jason wanted to hold her but wasn't sure if it'd be welcome. "I wish I could give that to you. If I could he'd be here, He wouldn't have ever left."

"What were you doing on the roof?"

"Being stupid and irresponsible."

She did respond to his comment, at least not in any sort of manner Jason could read. She was upset with him, and rightfully so.

"I understand if you won't let me, but if I can make it up to you."

"I just want to be alone."

Jason nodded and left without another word.

He closed the door behind him and then fell back against it. Dick being gone was really causing some issues.

 _It was mornings like this one that helped Jason stay sane. The early morning sun streaming through their curtains filling the room slowly with light._

 _But something felt off. The first reason being Dick who was, shockingly, still asleep. Dick never really allowed Jason to spoon him. He would tolerate it enough that he could fall asleep with Jason that close, but would squirm out of his grasp. Jason had gotten used to despite not really liking it. He figured out he could sleep against Dick and he would move out of reach._

 _Dick had been acting… strange for lack of a better term. Like he'd been up to something for the last two weeks. So the fact he was still in bed, with Jason this close to him, this late in the morning as opposed to up doing whatever it was he was up to was enough to tell Jason he was finished. That scared him slightly. It meant he was probably going to be deep in something very soon._

 _Nonetheless, Jason was still going to take advantage of Dick still being here and enjoy it while he still could._

 _He tried nuzzling himself a little deeper to try and sleep just a little more. No way washe abandoning this moment simply because his body was done sleeping. He wasn't, but if he was waking up that meant Dick would join him soon enough._

 _As if Dick could hear his thoughts he began to stir. Only enough to decide he didn't want to be awake and buried himself deeper in the bedding._

 _Jason smiled at the very Dick like action. He was exhausted and if he didn't need to be up he wasn't going too. Something he'd done for as long as Jason had known him._

 _He decided to let Dick sleep and get himself up and be slightly more productive. That didn't stop him planting a kiss against Dick's head before climbing out of bed to take a quick shower. Dick was up and about by the time Jason had finished, doing other things to get the family ready for the day i.e. preparing breakfast._

 _Jason snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist, his nose pressed against Dick's neck taking in his strangely addictive scent._

" _Hmmm, good morning Jay." He greeted, turning his head slightly to the side. "You're in a good mood."_

 _Jason shook his head. "No more than usual."_

 _Dick turned in Jason's grip to face him. "Really?"_

 _He nodded. "I'm always in a good mood in the mornings."_

" _Jay, I've known you for a very long time. You are the furthest thing from a morning person."_

" _I'm not that bad."_

" _You can be."_

" _How about you just go along with it and not question it."_

" _Normally it means your up to something."_

" _No…"_

" _Yes. The last time you were acting like this you kidnapped me for a week and a half to some backwater town._

" _And you loved it."_

" _That aside, my point still stands." Dick broke free of his grasp. "You are either up to something, or trying to get out of trouble, or both."_

" _Okay first, those aren't the only reasons I act like that; Second the only one up to something here is you."_

" _Ah, I forgot about the third reason. You wanting something. In this case information."_

" _Well like you said, we've known each other for a long time. I'd like to think I know you pretty well, so I feel like I would know when you got something serious in the works."_

" _It's just a Titan's thing. Absolutely nothing you need to worry about."_

 _Jason wasn't completely sold. It was almost always something for him to worry about if it was taking this long for Dick to go over. He would argue his point further if it weren't for the small young girl living with them._

" _Good morning." Dick greeted her, his tone changing to something more inviting._

 _Jason took half a step back, noticing how close he and Dick had been standing. It wasn't that Mar'i wasn't aware of their relationship, she just didn't quite fully understand it yet. So they kept a lot of the affection at bay when she was around._

" _Good morning." She replied, letting her confusion be heard._

" _How'd you sleep?" Jason asked._

" _Fine. Why are you two acting strange?"_

" _Strange? Dick are we acting strange?"_

 _Dick shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Could you describe it? Strange how?"_

 _She wasn't amused. Dick, however, wasn't even bothering to contain his grin._

 _Her eyes flickered between them. "What's going on?"_

" _Nothing." Dick silenced any other argument she might've had in her arsenal, kissing the top of her head while placing a plate in front of her. "Here."_

 _She read the room and knew something was up, she was her father's daughter after all, but chose not to press. Jason knew she needed something to throw her off a little so she wouldn't stress herself out. Something Dick also did._

" _You know, in a couple of weeks you'll have been here for a year." Jason told her._

" _Has it really been a year? It feels like it's been forever and as the same time a few weeks." Dick admitted._

 _Jason nodded. "Maybe we should do something special."_

" _That true. We don't know when your birthday is. Maybe this could work in its place."_

" _What's a birthday."_

 _Dick sucked in a breath. "Wow, I forget that there's some things you still don't know. Which means we have to do something."_

" _Like what?"_

" _Anything you want."_

 _Jason could see the ideas forming in her head._

She pushed her spoon around the bowl completely uninterested. It was sad to watch how depressed she just kept getting.

"Mar'i you need to eat."

She didn't acknowledge him, continuing to stir the soup.

Jason sighed. "Mar'i come on. Not eating isn't gonna help anything."

She let go of the spoon, falling back against the chair. She'd been quiet all day.

"C'mon, what can I do for you?"

She glanced at him. "Nothing."

"There's nothing I can do for you?"

"Nothing you can accomplish."

"Mar'i please. Don't start this. You know your father does this. Just starts shutting down the more depressed he gets, I don't want you doing that and I know for a fact neither would he."

"I just want him to come home." Her voice cracked.

Jason got up and went over to her. She just couldn't hold it in, letting it all out the moment Jason presses her against his chest. He didn't say anything he just let her cry while he tried to sooth her. Sometimes crying help people feel better, and he was hoping that was the case here.

"I know." He started running his finger through her hair. "God you have no idea how much I get it." He pulled away and knelt down so they were eye level. "Look he knows better than to make unkeepable promises. But I have complete faith that he will come home because that's what he does. If there's someone that needs him, he's going to take care of him. For as long as I've known him has had the annoying inability to let people down, and I sincerely doubt he's going to start now."

Jason started wiping the tears off her face.

"You can't know that."

Jason smiled. "Sweetie I've known him for a long time. And you're right I can't guarantee he will, but he's always been predictable on that front. He may not come home unscathed, he might have some severe injuries that are hard or damn near impossible to recover from. But he will because that's what he does when people depend on him."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held tightly.

"How about I take you back to the base tomorrow. We might get luck and he'll be out of that dead zone or even better he'll be back and he just didn't tell anyone."

She nodded but didn't let go.

" _I just don't understand why you have to go." Jason asked._

 _Dick sighed. "Jay we've been over this. They need my help. I'm not gonna just ignore that."_

" _Nah, far to nobel for that."_

" _It's just a week."_

" _And you and I both know that it could turn into something longer and far more dangerous. Forgive me for wanting to be a little selfish and keep you safe."_

" _It's just precautions. We don't want this turning bad, so you know prepare for the worst so it doesn't happen."_

" _Yeah I get that. But since when do we have that kind of luck? It's gonna go south anyways. So let's wait for it to do just that and then we can fix it together."_

 _The look he received was more than enough to tell him Dick's opinion on that idea._

" _Jay, as much as I would love your approval on this. I'm going to do this with or without it."_

" _You're right, you won't have it."_

 _Dick clenched his jaw._

" _C'mon. This is what's you've been up to for the past three weeks? Planning a huge off world mission?"_

" _It's more than that."_

 _He could see Dick was going to be unmovable on the subject._

 _Jason bit his tongue before taking Dick's face in his hands. "Just come home."_

 _Dick gave a sad smile instead of an answer (which Jason absolutely hated that Dick would do something. Verifying that he knew this mission could get him killed). He leaned in capturing Jason's lips with his own._

 _Dick knew better than to make an unkeepable promise. Even when Jason desperately wanted him to._

Cass had told him to take the night off from patrol. Jason knew she would call if he was needed, but he knew she could take care of things better than he could.

This domesticated night was pretty nice. Jason was trying to make it up to Mar'i for getting completely wasted the night before. Deciding it was movie night. She fell asleep against him and Jason let her stay there instead of putting her in her bed. It was kind of nice to have another person there. Even if that person was his ten year old step daughter.

She was having a hard time with all of this. Jason suspected it reminded her all to much of the last time she saw her mother. Someone who he was pretty sure use her last few moment to send Mar'i to Earth and give her a fighting chance at a good life.

Of all the people this was hurting, she was getting the worst of it. Nights were the hardest for both of them. Jason couldn't exactly stop patrolling but couldn't leave her alone either. She hasn't been around people she trust through the night recently, so she wasn't really sleeping all that well. Not that Jason had been either. Nights after boring patrols of the city when everything in the apartment was dark and silent made him feel strangely vulnerable.

Tonight really wasn't an exception. Even with Mar'i right next to him, with a good portion of the lights still on. It felt dark and empty, and made him feel alone.

Jason reached for his laptop. He wanted to make sure it was safe to go to the base, make sure he could talk to Tim. He opened up a chatroom and sent a message to Tim.

 _JT: We need to talk._

Jason knew it was unlikely Tim would answer him immediately. He might be petty and just ignore because this morning's events. He was thankful Tim was still able to pull himself away and try to fix things.

After five minutes he was online.

 _TD: Why?_

"That was quick." Jason mumbled

 _JT: I'm taking Mar'i to the base tomorrow. I need to know what's going on and make sure I'm not traumatizing her more than she already is._

 _TD: Then you shouldn't bring her._

 _JT: Did something happen._

 _TD: More like something will._

 _JT: Details would be appreciated._

 _TD: There's a couple teams coming back tomorrow and from what I've heard they're in pretty bad shape. And before you ask, I already checked, it's not Dick's team._

 _JT: Who's is it?_

 _TD: Mine, and then the one that the League sent._

 _JT: Your's? You don't have a team. You're stuck at the base practically running things._

 _TD: I do have a Team actually if you would pay attention one and a while. The Titan's team that I lead. And I'm also not the only one here running thing._

 _JT: Yeah, I know. You also have B, and Wonder Woman. But I know it's mostly on your shoulders._

 _TD: What are you? My mom? Pretty sure Alfred has that role taken care of, and this sounds like your slightly concerned. Aww Jason, I didn't know you cared_

 _JT: I'm going to Alfred you said that and yeah I am concerned. When you get into something sleep kind of goes out the window when your involved._

 _TD: Sleep is for the weak._

Jason rolled his eyes.

 _TD: Kidding. I have been sleeping. Regular amounts of time even. Be impressed._

 _JT: I am. And I am still taking Mar'i out there tomorrow and I expect to see you._

 _TD: Or what?_

 _JT: You'll regret it._

 _TD: Empty threat much?_

 _JT: I'm serious_

Tim left the chat. The conversation was over apparently. From what Jason could tell, they might be seeing the end of this nightmare.

Jason glanced down at Mar'i sleeping soundly against his arm. A soft smile appeared on his lips as he moved to scoop her up, and take her to bed.

"C'mon," he whispered to her, "You'll sleep with me tonight."

He laid her down and she quickly buried herself in the covers. Jason just laid there for a long time. Staring up at the ceiling for hours on end, unsure when sleep finally overtook him.

 _Jason had been lonely the past week. Dick had left on his secret mission almost six weeks ago. The first five weren't too bad. He and Dick could still have conversations, he could actually see Dick, granted it was through a computer screen, but it was better than nothing._

 _Now he didn't even have that. At first he didn't give it much thought until he found out Dick was now unreachable. Jason had a problem with that. Unfortunately there wasn't anybody who could tell him what was going on._

 _He wasn't going to stand for it. So Jason decided to go down to the base and figure out exactly where Dick was and Tim was going to tell him._

 _It took him a long time to find Tim while he ran around the compound doing important leader stuff._

" _Red!" Jason called out, running to meet him._

" _Someone had better be dying." Tim said more to himself than to Jason._

" _Yeah you if you don't start giving me some answers."_

" _Jay I don't have time for this." Tim looked like he was ready to drop from shear stress and exhaustion._

" _When was the last time you slept?" Jason found himself asking._

 _Tim shrugged. "I sleep when I can. Is that why you came here?"_

" _No, where is he?"_

" _Who?"_

" _You know damn well who."_

 _Tim sighed. "I'd hoped he had gotten a chance to explain it to you. Guess that's why he sent me this to give to you."_

 _He held up two fingers with a folded up piece of paper in between them, handing it to Jason._

" _What the hell is this?"_

" _I'm guessing his explanation."_

" _You're kidding right?"_

 _Tim shook his head. "You know this is frustrating for me to right? I haven't talked to him either. The fact that he's my brother and I care what happens to him aside, he's leading a really important team that I can no longer communicate so I have no idea if I need to warn the League or if this was all just some big misunderstanding. I get a letter isn't much, but at least it's something."_

 _Jason sighed. "Doesn't make it any less frustrating."_

 _He shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. Now I have to go."_

 _He didn't stick around for a response. Jason couldn't imagine the amount of stress this kid was probably under._

 _He turned the paper in his hands. Tim was right, something was better than nothing. Dick had at least taken a couple of seconds to possibly explain things or give Jason some reassurance. Even when he was unreachable and miles away he was still taking care of him. That thought only depressed him and made him his spouse even more. Dick could handle things better than Jason ever could._

 _For some reason he couldn't seem to bring himself to open the letter and read it. Jason wasn't sure if it was a fear of the explanation he was going to receive or… actually scratch that. Jason knew exactly what he was afraid this was. He was afraid of Dick affinity for preparing for the worst, and what he'd asked Tim to give to Jason was his final goodbye. Which Jason was sure he was never going to be able to handle under any circumstance._

 _Jason chewed his lip. He should should read it because, Dick being Dick, He probably included important._

 _But no way was he going to read it here. He still had reputation to uphold. Breaking down crying in the middle of the compound wasn't going to do it any favors._

Jason couldn't sleep. Or more accurately couldn't stay that way. He just kept falling in and out of a soundless sleep. Eventually he'd given up and stood on the fire escape outside his window.

He glanced back through the open window to see Mar'i still fast asleep. At least one of them was getting some rest. His watch said it was barely 3:30, which usually marked the end of a normal patrol. He hadn't seen anyone but this area was usually Dick's territory and lately Jason had been covering that. It made since that none of them were over here, instead sticking to the more slummy and criminally active areas.

The early morning kept sending cold bursts of air in his direction that would make any normal person shiver, but Jason had long since become immune to the cold. He really wanted to smoke. He'd been pretty good but sometimes he really couldn't help himself and tonight (or this morning depending on one's life choices) was one of those times.

He took a long drag, exhaling slowly. He could picture the look on Dick's face if he could see Jason now. Dick would tell him it was a nasty habit that could kill him, and then Dick would refuse to let Jason near him until he got rid of the scent and taste of tobacco from his person. The memory, despite making his chest ache, brought a small smile to his lips.

Even when Dick was thousands of miles away, he would still somehow know Jason had done this and be slightly disappointed, and that very thought made him put out said cigarette. Dick was right, it was a pretty bad habit

Jason sighed leaning back against the bars. He stuck his hand the pocket of his leather jacket, where he felt a folded up piece of paper. He pulled it out.

It was Dick's letter.

He never did bring himself to read it when it was first given to him. Jason sent another glance towards Mar'i. He needed to read it.

Slowly Jason unfolded the letter.

 _Jason,_

 _The last thing I want to do is give you false hope. But I also don't want to give you the idea that I'm never coming home. Still I feel we should always prepare for the worst. There is a chance that I won't survive this. That thought genuinely scares me, but it's a real one, and it needs to be taken seriously._

 _I know I said I wasn't going to get involved in anything too dangerous, and I'm sure you've figured out that was a lie, but what I have been up to is nothing compared to what's coming. This is an end game. We all know it. It's the only way we can ensure they can't come after us once we leave. Only it requires us to operate completely out of a communication deadzone._

 _I'm having a hard time admitting it, but this is it. I will fight with everything it me to come home, back to our family. I miss those Saturday mornings where you force me to sleep in so you can bring me breakfast in bed and just keep spoiling me in ways I don't deserve, I miss the way you'll try to hold me throughout the night even though I know you prefer to be the one held like that and I love to accommodate it, I miss how Mar'i follows us around with the pure curiosity and how I get to witness her pull out the best in you, and I just miss you. Every single aspect of you. Everytime you've popped into my head it's made it just that much easier to completely abandon this mission and just come running back home and back to you._

 _I also owe you and apology for a lot of things. The first one being that I didn't tell you what I was going on from the get-go, second I knew I was going to be gone longer than a week though I didn't think I'd be gone this long, third I know Mar'i and your relationship is still pretty shaky and me leaving like this isn't helping it very much, and finally the strangest thing I find myself being worried about amidst all my other concerns is I'm sorry I missed our anniversary. I'll have to make it up to you when I get back_

 _Please don't take this letter as me saying goodbye because I refuse to say goodbye, especially like this. I will do everything in my power to come home to you. Don't lose hope and start think I'm going to die or something equally stupid._

 _I love you, and I hope I will get back to you very, very, soon._

 _Dick_

Jason read the letter three times before refolding it, and for some strange reason found himself laughing.

"This loveable idiot is apologizing for being noble and doing the right things and that he can't control time."

The beginnings of dawn began to appear in the sky. For some reason he found himself feeling tremendously better. Yeah Dick was essentially saying goodbye without actually saying it because he's Dick and that's what he does, but he was still doing what he does best. Keeping Jason reassured and grounded. He found himself wishing he was less of a coward so he would've read that letter sooner.

Dick saying he was going to fight with everything in him to come home was more than a promise, even if he said it wasn't a guarantee he was coming back. He said it so it was going to happen. Jason actually felt himself starting to believe everything he told Mar'i the day before. Dick was going to come home.

"Thank you baby. Even when your out of reach you're still taking care of me." Jason pressed the piece of paper to his lips.

How had he gotten so lucky as to receive Dick Grayson's love and affection? Something he never deserved. And yet, Dick was completely loyal to him and for some reason had this unconditional love for him. Jason found himself unworthy and Dick didn't care.

Jason couldn't stop smiling and really didn't want to. His husband was going to come home, and even though Jason didn't know when that would be, it made the sunrise he was watching all the more breathtaking.

* * *

Another strange quirk Mar'i had inherited from her father, was a love for cereal. Jason watched as she had an intense focus on the bowl of cornflakes and devoured it. He silently chuckled at the sight.

The last three weeks had been uneventful. Jason and Mar'i filled their time with various things. Well really Jason was going to instil a love for literature in the young girls so they had been plowing through many of his favorites. The last two days had consisted of _Lord of the Rings_ , which is taking slightly longer to read then some of the other books on their list. But Mar'i was really enjoying the challenge and Jason was enjoying the idea of making her more well read than her father.

"You know we're almost done with the first book." Mar'i tells him, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Yes we are, which means I'm going to have to go on a hunt to find the other two."

"Maybe if we finish today, tomorrow we can head down to the library."

Jason smiled as he nodded. "If you can finish it today. You've gotten through a good two thirds of it so. Let's just say I have high expectations."

She smiled and returned to her cornflakes.

Jason took a long sip of his coffee as he leaned up against the counter. Today was looking like it was going to be another uneventful one.

Then there was a knock on the door.

He and Mar'i exchanged equal looks of confusion.

"Expecting someone?" He asked her, jokingly.

"No."

Jason put down the mug and went to answer the door.

He was instantly glad he had put the mug down, as he wasn't expecting who was on the other side.

"Hey. I would've just come in, but I lost my keys." Dick told him, grinning like an idiot.

The way he stood told Jason he was limping, his nose had obviously been broken (again), there was some minor stitching on his left temple, and his face read he'd gone several days without sleep.

Jason didn't waste any time, grabbing onto Dick like he might vanish if he didn't. Kissing him like he'd never kissed him before.

Dick broke apart, his eyes welling up. "I guess you're not too upset about the keys?"

Jason laughed tears already falling. "We'll change the locks" he told him before burying his face back into Dick's neck.

"Dad!"

Jason stepped back just as Mar'i jumped up into Dick's arms. He stumbled back, but regained his balance. Obviously he really couldn't handle the force of a little girl who missed her father right now.

He stepped past the threshold. "I missed you." He told her.

"You can't leave anymore." She told him through his shoulder.

He laughed. "Don't plan on ever leaving like that again sweetheart."

"When you'd get back?" Jason asked him.

"At like midnight. Had to get checked and make I didn't have any severe injuries, which I don't, and give Tim a lot of stuff before I could even begin to leave the compound. And I figured you guys were sleeping."

Mar'i didn't seem like she was letting go of Dick anytime soon. Not that Jason blamed her.

After a few minutes though Dick had reached his limit. "Okay, my injuries may not have been severe but they're enough that I gotta put you down."

She allowed herself to be put down but continued to hold onto him, keeping one of his arms restrained.

"So what's the rundown?" Jason asks him, wondering if Dick broke his leg by the way he's standing

"Later." he replies quietly. "Now I see a bowl of cornflakes which I can only assume are Mar'i's and I haven't had cornflakes going on fourteen weeks now. So… you can see where I'm going with this."

With Dick saying something like that, it really helped it feel like a normal Saturday morning. Jason found himself wondering once again how he'd gotten so lucky to have been blessed with a family like this one.

* * *

 **I've been sitting on this idea for a while now and I'm so glad I finally got it in writing. Until my next project.**


End file.
